fainted. again.

i fainted on the train again.

this time between aljunied and kallang station. funnily, the last time the same thing happened was february last year (at novena mrt), except it was worse this time around cos i vomited *gross* at the platform seconds after i exit the train at kallang station.

thank goodness i had collin with me. he was with me the last time i fainted too and thus wasn't as shocked and knew what to do. heh.

i remember leaning against the glass partition and suddenly felt giddy. instinctively, i held on to collin's arm and attempted to rest on it, telling him to be careful cos i think i might faint.

and so i did.

actually i enjoy that few seconds before you knew you are knocked out. the world around you seems to spin. your head feels light. everything's in a haze. it is in that moment you lose all consciousness and enter another realm in space and time.

the next thing you know is someone calling out to you (i heard collin saying, "you black out again ah?"), you open your eyes and realise you must have blacked out for god knows how long.

someone giving up their seats for us. medicated oil. water. daze. vomit. medicated oil. haze. sleep. and woke up feeling nothing like that happened.

the whole process of fainting, i went through the motions as if led by my own subconscious, and collin. that 20-30 secs of darkness.. i wonder what i was thinking? did my brain stop? did i stop breathing? did my heart stop beating?

but i didn't know i fainted until the moment i opened my eyes. and according to collin, i did so looking shocked/confused. i must have freaked him out once again.

still, i find a strange kind of pleasure in fainting. not that i like it to happen at all..

thanks darling for being there.. i love your incessant nagging despite that is the last thing i wanted to hear in all my grogginess. i love your insistence for me to get home for some rest despite how much i wanted to go out when i did feel better. i love the way you stand guard outside the female toilet, shouting into it at the door step umpteen times and asking fellow female "occupants" if i am still inside just to make sure i am fine. i love the way you would cuddle me knowing that's the only thing that i needed and wanted the rest of the day. and i love all these simply becos i know you only did all these cos you love me. and so do i.

i spend the rest of the day being ferried around in taxis. today was supposed to be V-day for us since collin's leaving for brunei tomorrow night. at least now, we have something memorable to relate to this year's valentine's day.

so far, i got a maroon nike yoga duffel bag (which comes with a yoga mat) from him which i absolutely adore. we shall continue our V-day prezzies hunt tomorrow!!! anyone knows where i can get nike/philips mp3 players?

don't worry. i am not weak. or maybe once in a blue moon, i am. it is just cold sugarcane juice + sweltering heat + most of all, freaking period.