Retrospection.

I remember something from my JC physics class - Inertia. So I did a simple google for it and this is what turns out:

Newton's first law of motion is often stated as

In an isolated system, a body at rest tends to remain at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

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And so I realised from there,
here's the problem with me: I tend to look back.

I need to rectify this, i.e. to start moving forward and make up for lost time.

The unbalanced force have to come from within.
The drive to do well, to excel, to have faith, to believe in myself.

I wonder when was it that I stop believing that I am as big as I think I am.

Was it with the bad 'A' levels grades that cause me to end up 'almost nowhere' (my subjective expression of this term most probably differs from yours)?
Was it with the start of bad complexion days?
Was it the less than happy life in NUS?
Was it the sudden onsurge of fits that happened this year, especially the one during THE internship?

I don't really know and I guess it doesn't matter.
But I do remember how I truly used to love myself for everything that I am.
Egotistical you might say. But that was peace from within.

There must be a problem when people around you seem to hold more faith in you than you in yourself.

I am almost certain I've lost along the way.
Something intangible and invisible.
Something positive that had people coming up to me saying that they always knew or know I will make it one day.
Something wonderful that had people thinking that I bring laughter whenever I go.

Where is that optimist in me?
Overtaken by the realist I presume.
This has to be reverted too.

This is by no means condescending, but it's more like.. for the self.
I think they call this confidence.
And I am piecing back the parts which I've allowed to crumble.

I'm back.