wallet of my life (from mei's blog.)

i copied this whole chunk off Mei's Blog. this entry tells someone's story. tells mei's story. now it tells mine too. it speaks of regrets. and living life after regrets. such fantastic analogy, need i say more?

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.wallet.of.my.life.

when You don't have it, you long for it.

when you have it you don't cherish it.

when you lose it, you yearn for it.

Someone said: "Wallets are a lot like girls. You really have to take good care of, because if you don't, something might happen..." I know what he means. I just lost a wallet, and I just lost a girl. You know, it's the exact same thing. One day, you just realize it's gone. You try to look for it everywhere, even going back to the places where you could have lost it. You think, and you think hard, only to come upon a grim realization: It is really gone.

Of course, you can hold on to some hope. After all, there have been some very, very lucky (blessed?) people who get it back. Perhaps you could become one of those people. You sit home and hope someone would call, and that you would get it back. But then, some time passes, and you realize that it's still gone, and you realize that it's time to let go.

The first few days, you turn to your friends for support. Some tell you you'll be ok, some tell you that it was your fault and that you should have been more careful, and some tell you about their own experiences. They give you all sorts of advice, none you haven't heard before. You then go out to find a new wallet, only to realize that you don't really want a new one. You want the old one that you lost. No, you don't want all these better-looking wallets, you want yours, because of how comfortable it is, because of all the cards and pictures and other stuff in it.

You carry on without a wallet, keeping your money in your pocket instead. You throw away stuff that you would have held on to if you had your old wallet. And then, finally, you find a new wallet you like and settle in. You then start filling your new wallet, little by little. It still doesn't feel as comfortable as the old one, but it's getting there. Then you start putting in cards and pictures and other important stuff in the wallet. Soon enough, there's as much stuff in your new wallet as the old one. And then, after some time, you feel as comfortable with your new wallet. And then you realize that you've almost forgotten you ever had your old wallet. Sure, you still remember most of the stuff you lost on that wallet.

But then again, you don't remember the feeling of hurt that you felt when you lost it. That's because that wallet you lost is no longer your wallet. You're no longer holding on. This new wallet you're holding, it has all the important cards and pictures and stuff that you need. This is your wallet. And this time, you tell yourself, you're never losing this one...

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sorry mei i have to leech your entry. this is beautiful and significant i guess not just to me, but most ppl out there.

at the end of the day, all that is left is memories. memories that may once broke your heart but now..

they make you smile.