i lead my life my way.

when i was just a little girl,
i ask my mother, what will i be?
will i be pretty?
will i be rich?
here's what she said to me...

que sara~ sara~
whatever will be, will be.
the future's not us to see.
que sara~ sara~

what will be, will be.

this familiar tune kept ringing in my ears today. if you probe further into the lyrics, this song's seemingly preaching people into accepting their lot in life --- same as let "nature takes its course" and "god (or a matter of fact, a supreme/higher power) has a path planned out for you" and the like.

think harder, it's all crap. because at this very moment, i am alive and have a mind of my own. i can make decisions that can change my life forever. therefore i am in control. no doubt we are constrained by some things in life (dun get me started on the fallacy of meritocracy), but yes.. instead of accepting life as it is, taking whatever shit that's thrown at you, we can do something about the current situation and better our positions.

i don't want to believe i have to take the shit of life. i don't wanna believe i have no control of my life. and it doesn't help to have a major preacher of "let nature takes its course" by my side twenty-four seven (collin that is).

i say yes to you never know what will happen, so treasure what you have at present. i may just die tomorrow, so have i done enough today such that i will not regret my death?

did you rmbr your [iloveyou]s today?

think it over.

The Great Pyramid of Qimin.

(sidetrack: finally met huiling online today and got the long due sentosa's photos from her. this is the Great Pyramid of Qimin. haha.. i got a human structure named after me. cool!)

i miss sentosa. i am fading. my skin. pfft.
and working at starhub, with stupid baggy tees (which seems to have this stench no matter how i wash and dry it) and toes covered nike (which SW forced me to wear socks with) never fails to make me feel FAT and UGLY and BOYISH and so totally UNPRETTY.

for the moolahs, push on i shall.