From within, and from with-out.

The upside to a server overload/maintenance at flowerpod is that you get another post from me.

I am not ashamed to declare, I am addicted to flowerpod, and a rather severe one at that.

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[The difference between being in the shell and emerging from it.]

When I was younger, around the time of my secondary school days, I thought that:

(1) Carrying your barang barang with your hands is the way to go, or occasionally lugging it over your shoulders when the stuffs are especially heavy (note: load still carried with hands).

Carrying your stuffs with the mid section of your arms, otherwise known as the tai-tai style, are no no 'cause it looks way aunt-ish.


(2) It's okay to walk under a drizzle. No shielding 'cause it looks kind of stupid. No umbrellas 'cause umbrellas are for nerds. Occasional walk under heavy rain is fun, especially with the right company.

Oh, running in the rain are no no too 'cause it will only make yourself wetter, somehow.


(3) Being alone is weird and uncomfortable 'cause it feels like people are watching you and must be thinking that you are such a loner. Companionship advised at all times – to the toilet, on the way home, to school, walking around school, at the canteen, during recess, you-name-it.

Then I grew a little older. Okay. I aged. And:

(1) Carry your stuffs the tai-tai style. Doesn’t matter it doesn't look cool enough or whatever the shite. Simply ‘cause the load would feel lighter and it keeps my hands free from grabbing the last top to checking smses.

I tried carrying the stuffs with my hands today and one word, it's cumbersome.


(2) Wouldn't go out of my house if the rain is heavy. Would bring umbrella if it’s drizzling. No brolly? Shielding with bag, any paper, my hands or bf's hands are preferred. Saves me from smudging makeup (if any) or at the very least, the skincare products that I've painstakingly layered on.

Run if you must. Just get out from the bloody droplets of water.Urg.


(3) Being alone is not synonymous with being a loner. With the wrong company, I really rather be left alone. And in my opinion, it is a mark of maturity.

So that sums it. Either I have become less hip/cool or times have changed and I am pretty much on the right track. As it is, I am happy with the way I am though Collin's taunts on one isolated incident (of hanging my shopping bags around my arms) made me think a little.

It isn't really relevant but I suddenly recall this part of Tuesdays with Morrie when someone, I forgot who, asked bed-ridden Morrie if he wished to be some-younger-age (read: able to move around, the freedom and recklessness that comes along with it).

And Morrie replied in the line of "Why would I want to be (some-younger-age)? I was once (some-younger-age). Now it is his time to be (some-younger-age) and my time to be 89 (or something like that)."

You get me. Not the figures that matter.

While there were times I wished I am 16 again, I gathered that however I led my life back then and the mistakes I made, I would have lived it the same way and made the same mistakes (given the chance to relive those years).

So what's the point of reliving it? It’s all sweet sweet memories and better left at that. It's my time to be 20 now. And in 2 months' time, to be 21.

Urg. Twenty one. With all that said, don't figures still gripe you sometimes?

I think I would officially declare myself to be twenty-something very soon.


Note: This post is not in any way, trying to diss people who are older than I currently am. I mean we all go through this phase and hey, you have been my age. So smile 'cause I know you still look fabulous. ;)