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Wednesday, January 04, 2006

The truth about 2005.

Up till a point in 2005, I stop bothering.

Stop bothering to care about people when they don’t even fucking care. I mean, why bother? That energy can better be diverted to those who care about me.

Then somehow - along the way - I lost the will to reciprocate too.

It’s all going very wrong. Maybe it’s karma.

But I only kept going, and brushed it all aside.

I could remember clearly – sometime early last year - I sneered when someone say she wouldn’t consider herself nice and wouldn’t go out of the way to help someone.

Back then, I thought hell, I would and in normal circumstances, I consider myself a nice person (subjective though, depending whether I like you – face it, all girls have that bitchy streak, be it blatant or latent).

But again, I can’t really say the same now.

I guess when you start measuring relationships on a scale, everything changes.

So as we step into the new year, I shall search my inner soul and find back the old me. Who say progression is necessary better?

And for a start, I shall start filling my organizer with lil' birthday notes.

Also, get a ergonomically designed phone so I would sms more often. Nokia’s 7600 is one phone that kills every sms addict, no matter how adept you are with it – though the adeptness only sets in much later.

Linking back to what was said at the beginning of this entry, I think the thing is this:

You give not because you have to, but because you want to.


Why didn't I see it through earlier? Or like any other, I was too intent on (and blinded by) reciprocity and returns.

This, I'll change this year.

Love, min

Note:
As I typed this, a bookmark on my bed caught my eye and it goes:
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world." - Buddha
A message from the mystic force himself (slash herself - maybe it's female)?

Ha. It's true. The world through my eyes ain't that picture perfect right now.

Time to give some l o v e.

And I am sorry - to the well-worth-its - if you've been shortchanged.

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