of thumb nails and sore thumb.

remember the (many) times your finger nail cracked a lil at its side and having keep its length for so long, you din want to chop it off. then while trying to pry open _______, you accidentally tear that very nail off. ouch.

somehow, everytime i think of going for a manicure, my nails will start to break on me. now i have an extra short thumb nail (which i just broke when trying to open the knot on the plastic bag), 6 mid-length finger nails and 3 long ones (the survivors).

hope the thumb nail grows to a decent length for me to go manicure early april.. in preparation for collin's comms ball of course. lalalalala~ another ocassion to doll myself up, splurge on a nice dress which i will prolly only wear once and get new shoes too. lalalalala~

then i recall collin's social night that i attended last year. i was so very excited about the whole event but well, the evening just din turn out very well. though i didn't admit so when collin apologised and asked if i enjoyed myself.

imagine this scene: sitting alone on a table with 4 other couples you barely knew. collin was the music coordinator and was away from the table almost the whole night. the girl on your left happens to know the girl on your right and so, they started to chat away with you seated in the middle, sticking out like a sore thumb. no matter how you concentrate on the food like it is sincerely nice (but it's really yikey), it's just plain awkward.

it comes to my realisation i am not much of a socialite. but if you choose to warm up to me, i can do so too very fast indeed.

so that whole evening, you see a dumb gf following his very busy bf into the AVA room. in and out. in and out. it is a dumb sight. but beats sitting alone at the table. awkward. alone. quiet.

let's just hope comms ball will be better, now that i got to know hongchoo better since we are doing this management project together and she is kelvin's date for comms ball. yay! at least i can talk to her, should collin leaves me alone this time round. (he told me he is sabo-ed to sing with some other people that day.)

i have not reach the stage where i can simply sit there alone and pretend i am sincerely enjoying myself. i don't want to be the dumb tag-along-whenever-you-go GF anymore.

(don't think collin will see this. but i am not complaining really. i just feel pretty dumb when i reflect on myself that day. urps. so sincerely, nothing to do with you.)