long and possibly boring entry.

<WARNING: this is a super long entry.. read it only if you have nothing to do and have all the time in the world.>

i went to meet my HUBBING people tonight.
xiang and yiyi 1st, to cartel for a cheapolata meal. ordered 2 soup of the day (its cream of mushroom.. yummy!) and my fave potato wedges! add a free flow of bread to that = a very full us. we all had some plans to shed some fats. everyone's gaining exams fats. but i think we are look pretty much the same.. flabby more than tone maybe. oh.. the curry dip that comes with the wedges is so disappointing. it just didnt taste the same as before. it was better. argh.. we sat there, with our cheapskate spread, for about 1 hr, ignoring the long queue thats building up.
then met mich and angie after their work. they are still at starhub. working part time. and today happen to be mich last day since school's starting for her. sylvester came down too.. haha. we made him come all the way from the west just to meet for an hour since xiang and yiyi wanted to catch the last bus home. sorry dude, but he's got a bike.. so nvm la hor.
seeing these familiar faces, i miss the hubbing days.. went down to the shop today and see alot of unfamiliar faces. i miss the days where its only the few of us.. dorkie, xiang, yiyi, mich, sylvester, jonnie, nommie and me. i miss the days where we were all happy and thot starhub tampines was the best place to work. reality is that the world is always changing.. nothing remains at status quo. nothing. at least, i met true frens working at starhub.. i love you guys. =)

its funny how life has been for me so far.. its weird.. i cant explain.

back in TK, the 1st few days of school. we were having CCA orientation and this guy who is leading my class around came to me and asked me to join band. i said "dun wan, i die also dun wanna join." then we went to the hall to visit the band booth. the 1st time i saw shihui twirl the horn, the 1st time yvonne came up to me, showed me the horn and ask if i wanna try. funnily, there seems to be an affinity. in the end, i dunno how.. i joined band, became a horn player. and the person who asked me initially if i wanted to join band, became my band major. james chia. i nv look back.. being in band is the one of the best periods of my life. i love TKBand - the best band in the land.

sec 1: we took part in syf outdoor display band competition. we won! i cried. we all cried. an unexplainable kind of happiness that nv occur to me before. something we really work damn hard for. this marks the start of TKBand winning the Best Display Band Award for 4 consecutive SYF outdoor comp. still the defending champion. good one.
sec 2: indoor comp. played Symphonic Triptych. got another silver for the band. sad but i was feeling ok.
sec 3: became the secretary of the band. outdoor comp yr again. tagged TSG - the strict girl on the field. i admit i was too harsh on my juniors. heh. got our 2nd Best Display Band Award. i was happy. but i cldnt cry. just happy we made it again!!
sec 4: indoor comp again. comp piece was Armenian Dances I. we tried damn hard. we really did. but we got a silver again. devastated. the committees mbrs had a discussion prior the comp and we decided that if we din win, we shldnt cry. mux show example to the band right? i cldnt help it. i rmbr looking up at the ceiling of victoria concert hall.. trying to hold back my tears. i rmbr how bright the circular lamps were.. i cldnt not cry. we were so close. at least in our opinion. i think mr siao cried too. it was a dark moment for all of us.

i would say the 4 yrs in band carve the person that i am now. i owe alot to the band, the section and most of all mr siao. we are grateful to him. in our hearts, we always have and only had one band master. thats mr siao.. no matter what happens in the band now. i brought along with me.. for the next 3 yrs of my life many things he taught us (which is alot). my personal fave being "only listen to the comments made by people who matters to you!" of cos.. my fellow section mates.. suryani, lawrence eng, etc. all the nice people i met.

i went into TPJC for the 1st 3 months, great fun! but my O's results came out brillant and somewhat prompted me to move on to somewhere else. where? AJC. which i dread. wrong move made. perhaps not so wrong cos i met this wonderful group of ppl in 26/02. compared to TPJC where i only had jas and jas, only me. jas and i was again in the same class in AJ. dreadful days.. but the bonding part was great. the girls in the class was great. so was the guys. perhaps.. somehow, things are really predestinated. perhaps, we are all powerless in our lives, something we thot we had so much control of.

post JC days.. i went for a few open houses. the moment i step into NUS. i go "eeks.. i will never come to this school." NUS then makes me feel so dirty and sticky. stained wall. ugly floor. dim lights. all things negative. hmm.. i dun mind SMU business or even better NTU Comm Studies (my dream course.) of course.. i screwed my As but am lucky enuf to land myself in NUS FASS. life has its funny way of making things goes. i shld have been more careful with words maybe.. knowing from past experiences how i always ended up with something i din want to go/do. at NUS, at least i met the CROEMIS ppl. and some very nice tutorial mates, like ruth and my sc project grps peepx. but i dunno if this is what i want......

maybe i shld just stay for good at NUS and hope like before, something will good comes out of it. so far, it always done. then again.. i feel that for 19 years of my life.. i nv seem to have defied destiny. if destiny even exist.. i use to take it all in a stride.. but i question myself now if this is what i want. maybe i'll do an appeal to SMU Business.. i can jolly well forget about my NTU Comm Studies. i hold my stand that they'll probably look at my results and laugh out loud, in tears asking me if i really wanted to appeal to Comm Studies. "WITH THIS KIND OF RESULTS?" wells.. i wont rack my brains too much for this.. in the wise words of mr gui, my ICM tutor, "whats the worse that can happen?"

i take his words for it.