bubble tea. death. studies. life.

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEIQI!!!!**
finally 19.. congrats!

i was reading someone else's blog and she mentioned bubble tea. hmm.. which reminded me that i havent had one for a long time! haha. had to satisfy my craving. so i went out immediately and bought myself a GREEN TEA DOUBLE PEARL (my fave!!). heh. that was 10 minutes ago. i'm now back home!! savouring the bouncy chewy 'pearls'.. *yummy* the bubble tea joint near my hse has the best pearls in SG! furthermore, it's dirt cheap. all drinks are at $1. add pearls $0.30. best of all, its only across the road. wahaha. less than a 5 minutes walk to get there.
problem is: i have to cross this wide road which consists of a sharp turn. at that very same area, there's construction going on (circle line!! yes!!) which 'strategically' locates itself in a way that it blocks 99% of jaywalkers' view of the oncoming traffic. darn.. thats dangerous. my heart pops each time i see elderly ppl crossing that road. the fact that the nearest pedestrian crossing is so far/outta da way doesn't help the situation at all.
when i was on walking there, i was wondering what if i miscalculated, get knocked down by a car and die! *touch wood, no doubt.* but shit happens as we have seen on news many times. die all for a cup of BUBBLE TEA?? thats sad. look.. if that happens, it means i din even die for a worthy cause, like trying to save a small kid from being knock down. then perhaps i would have lived this life in vain.

i dun tink i m that fearful of death itself. but more of what will happen to my loved ones when i die. probably the things i always wanted to do but have yet to. the things i wanted to say but never said it or even never had a chance to say. i rmbr once i thot i was going to die (ha! for a rather lame reason that i wont say why to save embarrassment.) and i quietly sobbed in my room. it was then perhaps, i start thinking for the impt things in life. so i survived.. (of cos i did. argh.. i m so stupid then. =X) and life took on a new dimension from then on. i rmbr asking collin then, is he fearful of death? he said he is. his argument is more of what will become of him when he dies. his response pissed me off then cos he didn't even think what will become of me!! and when i thot of death, he was one of my foremost concerns (amgst my family, some relatives and close frens of cos..). now.. thats ok. ha. we just view death differently. for now, its great to be alive so treasure every living moment. *in case i sound suicidal, i m NOT!! dun worry. ;) *

yesterday when i was on my way home with jacqueline, we were tokking about how parents nowadays stress their children so much when it comes to their studies. which reminds me of the time i went to my stef's (my niece-cum-childhood pal) 21st birthday chalet. and we brought all my younger nieces and nephews (all in lower primary school and below) to the nearby playground. when we were heading back, i was holding the hand of one of my nieces and she looked at me and asked, "can we come back and play with the sand again?" i said yes. then she said, "why is it that i am feeling so happy just now and i m not now?" speechless. it broke my heart instantly. how could that come out of the mouth of a kid that young? apparently, her mum stresses her alot in her studies and she is in kindergarten, mind you. i vouched i'll never be parents like that. or at least i will try to. i was given full autonomy over my studies since young. my parents dun interfere with my studies or perhaps becos they dunno much about the system anyway. (i told my mum i went into NUS and she told my auntie i went into NTU. well.. nvm.) but i think, i turn out well. at least, i had a fruitful childhood. and each time i look back, i smile. i'm let to fall and pick myself up. not some stressed up kid whose studies=life. or perhaps, parenthood isnt that easy. the world has radically changed from my time. gosh.. i realise i m tokking like my parents now. tokking about the past when it is no longer applicable to the generation today. perhaps.. then, the education system indeed need a thorough revision.

tokking bout education system, i m right now a victim of it. hell.. going back to hit the books!! ciao peepx.