summary of what i am up to the last few days.

things have been happening for me lately.

1stly, i am going for lasik next week. next tuesday i think.
i've actually decided to put the whole thing on hold. then my dad insisted that i shld do it "while i am still young". flawed logic of course. but he doesn't listen to me at all and keep asking me where to meet and at what time.
i went along, thinking if the consultation goes on fine and i am eligible for lasik (u need to have sufficient cornea thickness), i'll do it.
it was a pretty interesting check up. the solution they dripped into my eyes 4 times now leaves me with glaucoma, or [lao hua yan] for the next 2 - 3 days. so i have to take off my specs to view closer stuff, pretty much like how my parents do when they read newapaper. i was led to this video room to watch what to expect, some background information and snippets of the surgery itself.. pretty freaky. urg.. then went through a series of eye tests (degree, eye pressure, photos of my eyes taken) and was told i got slight astigmatism, something none of my opticians ever told me before.
i was declared good for lasik and asked if i wanted to fix an appt. at the same time my brother had just stepped out of the surgery theatre looking pretty tired (he was fed sleeping pills.), but with PERFECT VISION. argh.. to think his degree was over double of mine prior to this.
so it's official. i am doing lasik next week. the same female doctor that did my sister's eyes. byebye bausch and lomb and my trusty ray ban specs!

hello, a whole new world!! CLEAR vision!


next week gonna be a busy week. i'll be having my basic theory test next week too. next thursday. i hope my eyes are good for seeing by then. (anyway, contrary to popular belief, lasik gives u functional eyesight, not perfect eyesight. see the choice of word they use.. heh).

i m still not studying. even though i very much wanted to start somewhere. but i seems to have been bogged down by too many stuff recently. don't ask.. cos i dunno what. but i am not stressing myself up too much. i'm gonna take things in MY stride. hopefully i don't lag too far behind i start breaking down like last sem.

i m very happy today! cos.. i got my IPOD!!! a 20Gb 4G ipod!!! wahahahahaha. collin paid partially for it.. for my bdae present he says. its my new baby now!!! love it~

thank you darling!!! i love you too!!

wala~ i am a happy girl.

got a frenship keychain from ruthie baby today, with my name on it. so touched. thanks girl! and watched ur health. i really appreciate you. U R BETTER THAN WHO U THINK U R.. love you lots. =)

you noe when some frens really matter when a simple chat or hug gives you an instant perk.

went over to arts from science just to talk to yiyi for 15 minutes before rushing back to science again (late!) for my programming lecture. --> which i have no idea what the lecturer is talking about. i repeat, gers.. we have to meet up soon!! at xiang's hse? i wanna see OREO and u gers too! haha.

i am going SENTOSA tmr!! yay~ "again!?" you may think. but after my lasik treatment, i have to abstain from water sports for 1 month or so. hopefully i get a golden tan tmr. haha. and NUS ppl, pls do not clog up beautiful SILOSO beach. (there is some event tmr: BEACHY AFFAIR, which tzechia and ali are involve in organising.)

better sleep now.. zZzZzZz..

i m back!

there are so many things i wanna get off my chest. so allow me to blog a 2nd time tonight.

i'm deciding if i shld go for the LASIK checkup tmr. i can't decide. it seems too big a decision to make. my eyes!! for goodness sake.

reasons y i shld:
1) my dad's paying for it. (yay~)
2) i would love to have perfect eyesight. (who doesn't!) imagine no dry eyes. no blurry images. no eye irritation. u can rub ur eyes anytime.

reason y i shld not:
1) if my degree has not stabilise or say i do not take care of it well enuf, my short sightedness will come back to haunt me. and things will be much more complicated then. cos i may not be able to wear contact lenses anymore cos the eye-something has changed. (er.. i think can, but you have to custom made them to suit ur "new" eye shape.) so i either have to undergo another lasik surgery or wear spectacles for the rest of my life. (hell.. no!)

i hate to make major decisions. 1st the school transfer thingy. and now this!

oh my.. have i become more and more indecisive? sometimes collin and i rely on each other to think so much we are half the brain of each other. ahh.. i have to change!!!

i gonna be more decisive. i gonna love myself all over again. i gonna be optimistic. i gonna be myself. backtrack.. backtrack! to who i am before sinking into this mental well. for a start, i m smiling already.

i rmbr how i used to go "smile always!" and "life is great! i'm loving it!". i don't recall the last time i said all these. blogging seems to make me more aware of my emotions, in ways i never imagined. it's a good thing. but an equally bad thing at the same time, if you get what i mean. at least, i was happy, superficially or not, when i wasn't so "aware".

i need to find my character back. reality check: i have lose myself.

note to self: i better style my hair to sch in future. i look like a bird just build a nest on my head. add my black framed spectacles to the picture. argh.. i hate to wear spectacles. i need to look good to feel good. been feeling i look a mess lately. i gotta make a conscious effort to "tidy up" myself. for a start, lemme wake up to be on time for my lessons!!

i gonna buy an alarm clock. (i still want to buy an ipod. ok.. maybe i shld just get it as a gift to myself for celebrating my entrance to adulthood. maybe 20 isn't that bad afterall. hey! whats wrong with me? i was being such a loser pessimist the past few days. hey!! rmbr? life is GOOD!)

i wrote this last september:

smile always..
cos you never knows who is falling in love with your smile.
and anyway, smiling is the cheapest way to make yourself more beautiful.
instant results guaranteed.
whether u smile or u frown, the day goes on as it is.
so why not make life easier for yourself?
be optimistic.. the cup is always half full.
the situation doesn't change but just the perspective from which u view it.
i prefer to do things the sunshine way. =)

when did i start to forget all these? its the perspective from which u view a situation. darn..

watch out for me.. cos i m BACCCCKKKKK!!!!



yea.. i m feeling good now!!

aim: turn my life up again!

talked to 2 bizad ppl, hongchoo (my jc sch mate, collin's classmate) and vincent (hc's fren) abt my plan to transfer to business from arts which left me confused once again if i shld stay.

or leave....

suddenly i do not want to step out of my comfort zone. i do not want to meet new people. i find myself tongue tied having to strike a conversation with someone unfamilar.. or perhaps i just don't want to. my inner voice hollers to me i am unable to do this anymore. and much to my dismay, it is becoming a self-fulfilled prophecy.

i seems to have forget how to love myself. dun let negative thoughts become self-fulfilled prophecy.

i have been thinking quite alot about certain issues nowadays. frens. growing up. collin. love. studies. me, myself and i. i am thinking tad too much, its sapping all my energy. i feel like a mental trash.

it is possible to feel alone in a room full of people.. as we grow up, we seems to live in a facade.

it's really not easy having a bf in army. suddenly i don't blame gals who tell their army bfs "i still love you alot but lets breakup.."

the times u wanted so much for his strong hands to pick you up, he wasn't there.
the times u wanted to share ur happiness with him, he wasn't there.
the times when u are emotionally beaten, the most he could do is to coo you over this cold hard machine called telephone. even so, count the number of times u would spend that few minutes before 10:30pm (lights off time) seeking solace in him.
gradually, "our" - 1 life becomes "yours and mine" - 2 lives, each with the vaguest idea how the other is leading his or hers.

i'm not recounting my own experience. fear not. collin and i are doing just great. and i know i won't give up on him just of that. 2.5 years of wait is more than worth it for someone like him.. haha. for the records, maybe i'll smash his balls if he comes out of army and cheats on me. *ouch* wahahahahaha.. i'm sadistic.

me (sweetly): "i am just kidding, dear. you can't tell? oops."
lalalalala~

i did attend the starhub gathering in the end, even though i very much wanted to pack myself snugly in bed with my notebook on my lap. (my notebook is my new companion now. haven thot of a name for it.. hmmm...) the 20 (or 30?) of us chunked up a bill of over $800. i didn't pay a single cent! it was a treat from the managers. (thanks!!) boy, swensens was almost ours ytd night!! all that noise from us.. how inconsiderate. haha.

i am glad i went afterall and i enjoyed myself. yiyi, angie, dorkie, jonnie was there. poor xiang had to rush this project that was due today (she only came to know about it ytd night). it's good seeing all these people. i hope to see you guys at cuppage in may!! let the power team work together again, man~~!!!

(angie, you are so hot/pretty/adorable.. i m drooling. no worries.. u are unbeatable!!! we support you!!!)

got teased by the guys, pairing me up with this guy again. let's call him W. at one point, i stretched over to get a cherry from the Earthquake W and a few others are sharing and W actually gathered all the cherries and asked me if i wanted more. uh huh..? got teased more. i don't know why he do that for. simply providing them with another reason to start teasing again. i don't blame him. he's 17.. or 18.. he'll learn as he grows up and thanks but i am not into young boys. good thing i had my dorkie baby to help me zip the guys up.

shall post the pics when i have uploaded them to my lappie!!!

ageing. pageant. school. hubx.

i am bombarded by a large group of 13 years olds on Bus 96.

boy A: you know what is my favourite sun yan zi's song?
boy B: i know.. must be the most most most.. mooost romantic one.
boy A: which one la? i give you 3 chances.
boy B: er.. the most most romantic one lo. i where will know, i aso neber listen to her songs one.
boy A: its [green light].
boy B: haha. green light? i still red light lo.
me: (... ... ...)

girl in front: hey! you got bye bye ring ring ah?
me: (bye bye ring wat?)

dun get me wrong.. i have nothing against 13 years-olds. in fact, i wish to be one of them now. looking at them, such youthful innocence serve as a much dreaded reminder that i'll be turning twenty soon. urg.. i hate the thought of it.

13 years old.. when was that? seven freaking years ago!!

----------------------------------------

ali called me at about 12pm to meet her at arts for a while. naively, i went and was asked by my-darling-and-sometimes-lesbian ALI to take part in some pageant - nus BEACHY AFFAIR or something lidat. heh.

thanks gal.. i'm flattered that u think i am up to it. but i think otherwise. my "warzone" face is not ready to see the world yet. besides, i never thought i am pageant-material. bitch aye.. beach babe, i am far from that.

feeling fugly nowadays.

ps: we miss ur blog.. update me soon ya. even if u intend to keep it pte.. sssshhhh.

----------------------------------------

i got both my management and programming textbooks today from clementi book store. woah! finally!! and the mgmt text is $10 cheaper than what co-op is offering. cheap cheap!!! (the prog text is the same price btw.)

how come nobody ever tell me of its existence.. and the cashier's really nice. had my fair share of bad sales personnels ytd at orchard. tsk.. BOO!

----------------------------------------

i'm meeting the starhub ppl tonight. not just the gals, but the managers and perms as well.. so exciting!!! reason being starhub is going to have a major shuffling of staffs soon.. this is probably the last time we guys will meet as crew (and ex-crew) of SHTM. *sob*

adrain is going to cuppage i think. and we'll most probably follow him suit when we return to starhub to work during our next hols. (3 months break.. woa-hooo!!) i'll be fine as long as i have the gals with me. *smile*

tata~ gonna do some work before i spend my night chilling at the Swensens @ Crown Prince Orchard. before that, i'm off to sengkeng to visit OREO!! --> xiang's silky terrier. (just bought. its still a lil baby!!) i m so jealous.. will snap some pictures (if xiang allows.. heh.) and share this bundle of joy with u guys..


oh.. it's a BITCH btw. i got this feeling OREO and I will click so darn well.. heh.

emotions stirred.

i forgot how i used to look into the mirror and love what i see.. i mean totally in love with who i am. my confidence level's dipping.. *shrugs*

-----------------------------

had a petty tiff with collin ytd night.

i gave it a deep thot before i replied him this evening that i m sorry too.
to which he replied:
"no i'm sorry.. i'm just not appreciating you enough.. sorry"

i realise how i often do things for him and expect to be appreciated. a less than appreciative notion makes me tad disappointed, whether i voice it or not. thats wrong.. thats why i apologised too. afterall, i shld understand my bf is a very-not-vocal collin.

while i sometimes wish collin would whisper sweet-nothings to me more often, i also realise it is becos of the fact he doesnt do it often.. when he does, he really moves me. just like that msg above.

-----------------------------

met up with my cousins today.
thanks for the wonderful day out.
i enjoyed myself immensely..
it just reiterates how blessed i am to have u guys.
*smile*

-----------------------------

school is into its 3rd week now. and i seriously have not touched a single thing. i haven even got all my books ready.

i gotta start somewhere.. bad me. i promise i'll do all the catching up this week.

-----------------------------

listening to: Jay Chou's 2004 Incomparable live cd.

if u love jay, u gotta have this. if u think he is ok, u gotta get it to think he is great!!
i am not an avid fan but i think this is great!!

it makes me emotional somehow.. like now.




overwhelmed with a strange kind of sadness.. with a tinge of happiness?
recent events leave me exhausted. or maybe this is just another momentary feeling..

................

i don't remember the last time tears trickle down like that.

you don't understand, do you?

alfie. sentosa. my one and only.

my god!! i am drooling so much my room is flooding.

JUDE LAW is so so so so CHARMING, and saying he is [so so so so charming] is an understatement!

just came back from watching ALFIE with collin at GV PS today. it is a must watch!! simply 'cause jude law is so CUTE. i can sit thru the 103 minutes show just watching him smile over and over again. totally swept me off the ground, despite the jerk he is in the show. a darn gorgeous and drool-worthy jerk.

guys can look forward to seeing Sienna Miller. (she is so pretty!!!) i heard one guy gasped *aloud* when she took off her clothes and showed her *ahem*.. buns. gosh, for the sake of fellow female audience.. a little resilience pls.

LAW = A SMILE TO DIE FOR.

-----------------------------------------

despite waking up late and meeting at 3pm to go to sentosa, this has to be one of the best outings ever.

look at the sign board. it says [SAD]. (at chinatown station.)

collin loves my cookies. yay~ (he better says he does in any case.. heh.)


the blue blue sky that greeted us at sentosa. just purr-fect..


beautiful sight tainted by monkey business spotted right in front where we were seated. yikes..


look who i found! my cousin, winnie!! yay~


this piece of cloud looks like a side view of a face. oh.. like PAC MAN.


my work of art.
sea shells remind me of jae chia, my jc physics teacher. "each of us is like the pearl in the shell.. oozing with potential." truly inspired and unforgettable.


collin personalised it and viola!! how sweet.. *smile*


sun set at sentosa. mesmerizing.


we saw it going down..


and down.. (like a giant egg yolk!!)


.. and finally disappeared down the horizon.


such enthralling sight can only be viewed with ur loved ones beside you.


my last shot of the day. i m in spellbound by sentosa at its sunset.


a picture speaks a thousand words.

(click picture for a larger view)

i hate having to write title.

my MSN Beta pisses the hell outta me!!! 1st, it periodically disallow me to talk/reply to some of my frens by refusing to send out my msgs. and now, it is logging me in and out, in and out. argh.. i wanna rip it apart!!! or maybe not.. cos it is FUN!!

lemme do a run thru of some of its new features..
[1] it allows u to choose ur status before u logged in.
[2] u can draw!!! with this function called HANDWRITE.
[3] u can leech ppl of their emoticons by right clicking ppl's cute smileys and add to ur own collection.
[4] u can give ppl a NUDGE. the whole window will vibrate. *giddy*
[5] u can give ppl a WINK! another added feature.

wahaha. i love it despite its flaws and all.

-----------------------------------

i was surfing the net a few days back and stumbled across this latest addition to the apple family: iPod SHUFFLE!!

yeah.. at a relatively cheap cheap price of $178 for a 512mb and $268 for 1Gb. and it doubles as a thumb drive too!

what i dont like. "enjoy uncertainty" indeed. it does not have a display to tell u what track it's playing, actually thats the whole idea. using the shuffle function, u won't noe what song to expect next. so yes.. that's the uncertainty they are talking about.

i will still very much like to own an iPod!!! despite it being relatively bulky. i need an alarm clock. and ipod comes with an alarm clock!!! so i shld get it!!!??? wahahaha.. thousand and one excuses. better save up from now on.. yes!!!

-----------------------------------

my 4 hours break went by pretty fast. thanks to lynn!!!! visited her hall - king edward. and shall i say it is all very happening!!! thats the wildlife i am referring too. heh. (no offence.) this imprudent mynah simply stroll past lynn's front door, along the corridor in full sight of the 2 of us!! what blatant disregard of our presence. its such funny sight i tell you.. wahahahhaa.

her room is nice!! larger than what yiyi used to have at pgp only not so new. i think hall life is great. minus all those activities u have to participate in. =)

-----------------------------------

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PENGFENG!!
enjoy ur long weekend ahead.

4 yrs 8 mths.

i spend my last 3 days at home! can u believe it!?
i'm suppose to attend a lecture today at 2pm. but i decided NOT TO GO and stay home to watch the webcast instead. (which i have yet to.)

long live webcast!!

tmr will be a long long day for me. i have a 2 hours lecture, followed by a 4 hours break and another 2 hours of makeup lecture. but i m so fine with it!! cos friday will be a public holiday: hari raya haji!! up to this point, have it occur to you that i only have one day of lessons this week!! wahahahaha.. be jealous.

haven been touching my books at all. i thot i said i was going to work hard this semester? sigh.. i have no motivation and too many distractions. i promise to get some work done soon. *hook fingers to self*

anyway, i got my desired MNO tutorial slot (A9) already! wahahahahahaha.. A11 is hot hot hot. so many ppl wants to swap for it. yay~ this means i will end up in the same class as fengxue. woah.. i'm no longer alone!!! yay~

------------------------------------

i refuse to think about it since there is nothing i can do now. i just hope things sail thru this weekend. then again, what is still bugging me thru out the day? i dunno whats on my mind? what i am thinking? what i feel about all this? what are my concerns now? its just too confusing for a lil mind like mine.

------------------------------------

today is the nineteenth. lemme see.. it's 4 years and... 8 mths? yep.

i love you.

dun confused me.

.my mno class.
in a fit of anger, i was about to file an appeal to the cors dept demanding why i am not allocated my desired mno slot at 1st choice when there are 05 more vacancies in the class. then to my horrors! i realise that it was stated that my so called desired slot wasn't rank 1. (the slot they assigned me was.) I SWEAR I TRIPLE, QUADRUPLE CHECKED. it may well be a technical glitch!?

well now.. since i don't have a case to file an appeal, i woke up early today to reballot for my MNO class. but to realise that i cannot take part in this round since i was allocated all my tutorials, meaning i will have to wait till tonight to do the add/drop/swap.


yesterday.
i did a run through of what happened yesterday. maybe it is not such a big deal afterall. actually it's me secretly hoping nothing changes.

sindy has asked for me to be FIRM with my stand. but i'm still confused. i don't want to be the one reading too much into things. i don't want to assume. i'm confused.

but if sindy's right, i refused to jeopardise what someone else is trying so so hard to build.

right now, i just want to disappear.

me. evil?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO FENGXUE!!!
hope u enjoyed ur day..!! *smile*

urg.. i say enuff of my ramblings. i have been rambling on and on the last 2 days.. after effects of cooping myself at home. perhaps so..

i have school tmr! finally.. i'm going somewhere.

i spend my last 2 days:

[1] downloaded alot of cute emoticons for my MSN Beta (which is giving me problems every now and then. sorry if i tok to u midway and stopped. its only cos my MSN Beta refused to send out my msgs. sigh..)

[2] added a web counter and comments section on this blog.

[3] bidded for my tutorial slots. (argh.. i din get my desired mno slot at 1st choice! wats the world coming to..)

[4] did a DIY session of bikram at home! haha. (xiang and yiyi!! when are we doing it together in yiyi's sauna? i m waiting.. lalalalala~ i found a webbie that tells us all the 26 poses!!)

[5] stirred up trouble for collin and his platoon mate. i am incredibly stupid. i m stupid. i m stupid. but in any case.. i think i will do the same. it doesnt feel good to keep collin in the dark. but i still feel incredibly dumb. i m so stupid. urg.. *guilty*

----------------------------------

i have a makeup IT1002 lecture on thursday 4pm-6pm since friday is hari raya haji. which leaves me a dreadful 4 hours break after my JS lecture.

collin is leaving for his brunei exercise on v-day and coming back only in 7th march. which means i won't be having him for my birthday this year.

how nice.

----------------------------------

i realise no good is coming out of my mouth. it depresses me to noe i m the ROOT OF ALL EVIL. er.. watever. something lidat.

lemme just end and pretend the world is ALL GOOD with a cute kao ani:

(hope u spent ur day better than i did.)

argh.. i m dumb. so dumb.

have u ever found urself caught in a situation where the only 2 solutions you have lead u to a dead end no matter wat?

i feel so farking stupid now.

someone just bring me a concrete wall pls. i want to ram into it and just die.

pissed.

i just wrote this 924 words entry about my family. and i decided i am not going to post it but save it as a draft for my own reading.

because i feel it will elicit a great deal of response from the readers since we all have our own perceptions of a family. and by ranting my misfortune i m undermining alot more ppl who are less fortunate than i am. which in either way, i lose out.

i don't want to have anyone coming up to point out to me to where i am wrong myself cos 924 words won't let anyone understand a single bit about my family. so yes.. i dun want to listen to the craps.

and i also noe for the 10 ppl who read it, 9 ppl will judge me for it.

i m just pissed.

happy birthday, uncle!

i m deadbeat. but i shall blog.. for the sake of anyone, if any, who has nothing to do and decides to visit my blog.

perhaps i shld change the name of this blog. lynn is right. my blog name is so.. without a meaning. its just a convenient name to use since it is the same user name as my hotmail/yahoo/gmail/straitstimes-interactive/frenster and subsequently doodleboard/photobucket/hello and many more.

shopping? of cos i still LOVE shopping!! perhaps every other girly girl does. which render my [ilurvetoshop] girly, bimbotic and obsolete. shallow. urps..

------------------------------

celebrated collin's dad birthday one day in advance today. we got him a black adidas clima-cool polo tee. it's funny because whether it is his birthday or collin's mum/brother/collin, he is always the one footing the bill ultimately. *grins*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNCLE!!!!!
(though i am 101% sure he won't see this.)

a man with humour at his age, he asked us (me and june, collin's brother's gf) to go to their house for a countdown to his birthday. haha. we spent the countdown desperately trying to make collin understand the mathematical solution behind the "magic" card trick collin showed us initially. (FYI: collin has no idea why the trick works and only noes how to perform it. haha.) 12:00am came. and went. no birthday song. no birthday cake. we din even touch the 3 cans of tiger beer that's on the table. so much for a countdown. haha.

------------------------------

someone dreamt of MY boyfren and msged him that SHE did. yes, a gal. an ex-gf actually. seriously i m not jealous. not a single tinge. perhaps i feel she meant no harm. but the fact that i noe she has a bf herself now leads me to think if it is a right thing to do. so i asked..

me: if i dreamt of my ex and msg him, will you be angry if u found out?
collin: i think yes. but maybe it will be petty to be angry.
(paused)
collin: i will ask u wat u dream about and y u wanna msg him? it depends whether its just frens.. or something more. (ya?)
me: haha. but i dun have his no. anymore!!
collin: so u will msg him if u have his no. la.

wahahahahahaha. no. i dun think i will do that. for the fact that i noe my ex has a gf now too. and most imptly, my commitment to collin. (note: its different from obligation!!) y would i wanna put my relationship on the rocks and put someone i love so much in torturing doubts?

learning point?? nothing.

haha. seriously.. i concluded that probably 1st love, for gals esp., is hard to forget. cos it is often in that relationship, u noe nothing, make mistakes and just leave the relationship with lots of regrets and doubts. but in life, you take some, you give some. from each relationship you grow and it just gets better (hopefully).


sometimes i asked collin too much "what ifs" i think i irritate the hell outta him. ok! i correct myself. i DID irritate the hell outta him each and every time i do that. but i enjoy it! i mean the asking part. i hope he is not so easily irritable. heh.

yiyi!!! #$%%^E^%#^@$% (-_-")

tell me if i shld be pissed.. i m suppose to meet yiyi at 12pm to pass her my econs stuff and her da vinci code. so there i go dragging myself and the heavy paper bag (note: heavy is a relative term) to school and yup.. no trace of yiyi. her hp is not even swtiched on which i strongly suspect she is probably still SLEEPING. argh.. which leaves me nothing to do for the next 2 hours, hungry, and ALONE.

my my.. i m such a loner. (loner actually rhymes with loser.. criez.) i contemplated that i will probably spend my next 2.5 or 3.5 years floating ard NUS, taking modules alone, no one aware of my existence, not making effort to make any frens and hopefully graduate relatively well. BORING!!! no way.
pls remind me to take modules with at least one other fren from now on.
the fact that i m probably majoring in ICM and till date, only have ONE fren (fengxue) doing the same major makes me shudder. can you imagine a very dull qimin in 2.5 or worse, 3.5 years time? the prospect of applying for a transfer to nus bizad makes the whole situation even dimmer. omg.. i m becoming such an introvert. argh. all too much a hassle..

ok.. enuf of my incessant grumbling and whining.

attended my 1st MNO lecture today. i wonder y i shld attend if everything is on the ppt slides and "refer to your textbook, everything is there." but all in all, the lecturer is pretty funny, with a funnier pronunciation.

excerpts from my lecture just now:
" last semester, the LECHERER uses a dfferent textbook.. blah.."
"there is six types of comPEARtencies.." (competencies)
"loin.." (knowledge)
and i have no idea what he is saying when he says "entrepreneurial". --> which i dun blame him for this cos it is such difficult word to pronounce. and esp. more difficult when you try harder to pronounce.

did i mention i already skipped one lecture for SEM TWO already.. my JS lecture!! cos i m so blardy PIGGED and over slept. *sad* i was looking foward to the JS lecture by that Avenell guy whom Ivan claims is the only one i shld listen to, as compared to *****. now as i try to read the notes, i have no idea what it saying or trying to say as a matter of fact.. how am i suppose to decode mere pictures? urg..

by the time you read this, i have only one hour left to kill. as you may have guess, i have nothing, NO THINGS to do and i am very hungry!! just made another attempt to call yiyi and greeted within 3 seconds by the same old operator that goes (forever), "you have reached... (kup phone.)"


yiyi.. i m so going to kill you.

i miss you.

i miss you...

1st day of sem 2.

attended my 1st lecture of the sem.. alone. urg.. how pathetic that sounds. my 1st lecture's not even at somewhere familar.. LT27. like where the heck it is?

answer: its at SCIENCE. its the LimXX building by the science bus stop. yes.. that very same bus stop where most ppl drop off after much effort spent squeezing into BUS 95 at buona vista mrt. dreadful indeed.

the lesson (it1001: intro to computing) went off ok. its basically teaches you down to the basics wat is cpu, motherboard, hard disk, blah.. great for idiots like me. which explains y some non-idiots, especially the guys, ran off midway during the lecture.

i can forsee this is going to be a lonely sem (which suits my NERD image well. heh.) cos i'll be taking another two modules ALONE. (scares.) IT1002 intro to programming and MNO1001 (thanks to ivan!).

010105 (on my doodle board)
min:
the photo doesnt do my hair colour justice. it was really much worse before. or maybe i was just being paranoid. haha. school gonna start.. u will get to see the REAL thing soon. wahaha.. at our MNO class yea?
ivan:
Haha.... sure.... don't pang sei ah....

060105 (on MSN)
min says:
pls dun pangsei
min says:
i got my blog as evidence u noe?
min says:
hahaha
min says:
i can sue u if u back out

060105 (on ivan's blog.. ivan blogs saying..)
Note to self: Never put myself in a compromising situation. Any comments or post on other people's blog must from now on seem sincere, yet actually have no substance or promises in it whatsoever, to prevent such a situation from happening again.

070105
ivan:
Arghh... so sorrie min, I can't bid for MNO... the bid's before 2pm was like 651! wat the hack! Switched to some other breath mod.... gomenasai!

hahahahhahahahaha.. (evil laugh.) see ivan. i got it all documented. i m so going to sue you. be prepared to hear from my lawyer. for causing me yet another lonely lecture and the consequent permanent emotional damage.

SHTM: photos of the ghwees' wedding.

ok ok... here's the photos from the ghwee's wedding.
(note to self: i need to upgrade my camera. blurry mess. sigh..)

be ready for alot of self-obsessed but incredibly lovely and cute (or so we claim) ladies, sluts and bitches!!!!!! ARE YOU READY???

a few decent shots 1st: who was there?

left to right: angie, yiyi, xiang, jeannie (our floor manager), dorkie, min!!!

far left: jonnie, far right: CPE chris.

second from right: jac, the lao3 lao4. the most revered. and not to be trifled with. =)

we love the female toilet at novotel cos it has lotsa mirrors. not forgetting disposable toilet seats.. heh.

my crazy bitches. (we spent so much time in the female toilets we forgot about jonas.. twice. haha.) see dorkie and her bandaged middle finger.. how rude.

all looking demure and sweet.. i gonna miss them so so much.

the babes of starhub tampines. (where's mich?)

my bikram mates!!!!! yiyi and xiang~!!!! the best!!!

cutesy angie.. acting slutty with bitchy me.

"haha... I'M THE BOSS!" with sexy jonnie.

verdict: dorcas sexy. me no.
sob...how can anyone be so skinny, have legs that goes on forever and be incredibly tall? i m so jealous..

mah girls... looking good. haha.

its US again!!! told you we are self-obsessed!! dun you just love us?!
no? JUST TOO BAD~! lalalalala~~~

the thankful thing about working in starhub, other than the MONEY, is that i met this bunch of lovely folks. with you guys ard, there is really nothing much i can ask for. (except for weekends off? heh.)
it is funny where life takes you.. think just one year ago.. we were barely strangers. i'm really glad i met you guys.. till i see you ppl again in april, take care and i'll be missing you alot.

more than alot.

happy marriage, ghwees..

i just returned from my starhub's colleague, Eugene's wedding dinner at novotel clarke quay. still a little high, my head slightly throbbing from the red wine i had. i must admit i am a lousy drinker. ohh.. the wedding is so sweet.. its makes you wanna get married too. haha.

happy marriage, mr and mrs eugene ghwee.
awww~ how maple syrupy sweet..

had FUN tonight.. with all my lovely ppl - xiang, yiyi, dorkie, angie, jonnie and maybe chris (heh). we were at the same table with adrian, jac and her husband where JAC, the lao3 lao1 complained WE ARE VERY NOISY! haha.. yeah.. thats like the spirit man~! and snapped alot of photos which i will upload soon (if i feel like it!). i love these crazy bitches!!!!

(oh huiling.. i wore your dress again. heh. pls meet up so i can return you asap. anyway, thanks babe!!)

i spent last night and this morning devouring the whole of DA VINCI CODE. as usual.. i find it over rated. perhaps too many good comments and made me had too high an expectations. but all in all, the plot is brillant. i m looking forward to reading another Dan Brown's work, DEMONS AND ANGELS. anyone care to lend me?

or probably i shld concentrate on reading my basic theory book and aso the reading packets to come. dreadful.. good news is school starts on wednesday for me!! yay~ not until the tutorials are added in. then i'll have a 4 day week. (darn JS tutorial slots..)

i finally got all the modules for this sem. TWO IT MODULES.. i think i might just die! but i can do it... i will jiayou.. SEM 2~ here i come...!! nite. burps..

princess, the frenly dog!

lemme show u the cutest thing on earth.

my name is PRINCESS. i am qimin's fren, yiyi's auntie's dog. i m the cutest shih tzu alive.

when i say my name is princess, i say I AM A PRINCESS TOO. everyone loves me. i admit i m spoiled. but well.. who cares.. i m the centre of the universe. so talk to my hand!

just kidding.. i m an extremely frenly dog. i dun bite. i am toilet-trained. everyone loves me! *flash a wide smile* PRINCESS, the frenly dog! promise u dun leave me alone at home.. else.. i will cry. i mean it..

this is my fren. it barks in a weird way: in the tune of Jingle Bells. and it only barks when u press its right paw. weird frens i've got. wait till u see the yellow duckie..

here comes yiyi. she always buy me soft toys. (yes.. she bought the yellow duckie.) i love it when she comes over to play with me.

STRIKE A POSE! yay~ i m so darn beautiful. did i mention i have the nicest fur in the world? thanks to my lovely owner.. *grinz*

like another pose? ok.. this is my signature look-over-the-shoulder aka typical-red-carpet pose. quit staring at my fleshy (sexy) butt pls.

i got ENUF! quit snapping pictures of me, you stranger. i m sleepy.. *yawn* time for my beauty sleep.

really sleepy.........................

zZzZzZzZz.....

*knock out*

"i m one blessed bitch."

copy off someone's blog.

i copy this off someone's blog. how true..

There was this gal named Sylvia from a family of high social status & with siblings all lawyers or doctors. Failure was nowhere acceptable in the family.
This was the results day for the college exams. Having scored short of an distinction caused her a place in the prestigious medical school abroad. The ultimatum from her parents was within sight. Feeling empty & self-worthless deep within her, suicidal thoughts took over Sylvia's mind. The fingers failed to press the 8th storey to her house, instead she was taken a storey up to the roof. Alighted, walked to the edge of roof above her house. "Never will I fail again, Never."
Sylvia took a step forward, and ...... down.
As she headed down past her house, she looked inside the windows and saw her parents happily waiting for her to report back with good news.
On the 7th storey, she looked inside, a newly-wed couple were having a cold-war just after 7 days of marriage.
On the 6th storey, she looked inside, an old granny was looking at her demised spouse of 60 yrs, with tears down her wrinkled cheeks.
On the 5th storey, she looked inside, a drunk man was smiling to himself as he gazed at the tv screen of his shares misadventure.
On the 4th storey, she looked inside, a woman was threatening divorce as she found her husband with a mistress on the bed.
On the 3rd storey, a man was sobbing quietly by himself while thinking of his wife who perished in an airplane disaster last week.
On the 2nd storey, a lady in her 20's was weeping in disbelief after being diagnosed with cancer in the 2nd stage.
Having seen all that, she suddenly realised that her life was not that bad as compared to others.
When Sylvia landed on the 1st storey and back on solid ground, the neighbours whom she saw moments ago came surrounding her and pitying her sorry state at such a young age. "At least our lives are still better than hers."


Often we are too engrossed with the many intricate things in our own life, we fail to appreciate our very own existence as a living person in a community. Take a break now and rethink of ur purpose in life. Treasure your life and treasure others too.
---an edited story heard from linlingzhi(Y.E.S. 933)

organiser. driving. maple.

i accomplished quite alot of things today. *so proud of myself. beams..*

my year 2005 organiser (january to june) is DONE UP. i like it!! work hard at it till 4am this morning. its just this cheap AZONE notebook nicely personalised. alas, something for me to scribble on and hopefully, organise my life a lil. QIMIN HAS AN ORGANISER NOW!!! lalalalala~

i registered for my basic theory today! yay.. byebye procastinator MIN!! took bus 51, as advised by zongxuan. (thanks!) but i realise midway i've forgotten to ask him where to alight which made me missed the stop and had to walked an xtra 100m.. 200m. which sucks cos i m still aching from ytd's 20 minutes run. i m weak.. CRIEZ~
i was expecting an eyesight test when the lady nets the fees and said "thank you, thats all." then i realise, after walking away, under the column WEARING GLASSES, it was a NO. thus the following EYESIGHT TEST was met with a NIL. duh! i was wearing contact lenses. i contemplated walking back cos there was a line under declarations that read

"i declare that all particulars given above are correct."

then i decided not to. 1stly to save me the trouble and time cos i need to rush down to maple clinic (for my face). 2ndly, she din ask if i am myopic and i wasnt wearing "glasses". i m wearing contact lens. lastly, there is a not-so-remote possibility i m getting my lasik done. in that caes, i'll be perfect eyesight by then. so there you have it.

test date: 04 February 2005, 1830-1930

i had another close brush with being penalised for jaywalking today. good thing i always spot the police before i can do so. the govt needs $$ that badly. like fining will help.. NO cos ppl will continue to jaywalk when they walk off. maybe they shld start questioning themselves.. cos we ppl may be jaywalking due to the lack of pedestrian crossing at where we needed it most. HELLO!!! (attempt to knock some sense..) then again, perhaps thats the whole point!! its GOOD REVENUE~!!!

at maple, i realise i'm a pretty patient person. i reached maple at 8pm and waited for a solid 2.5hrs before i get to see the doctor. horrors. i read five [8-days] and one [today's parents], not forgetting a 20 minutes chat with a rather "high" collin in between. (happy hours at OCS. gosh..) when it is finally my turn (queue no. 77), ie after 25 queue numbers before me, i was in and out within 5 minutes. well done. 3 more medications are thrown into my daily regime. i have now 8 external medications and 1 internal antibiotics. see you again in 3 or 4 weeks time. it better works..

thank you papa and mama! they came down to fetch me from maple without me asking. i m blessed. i even get to chomp down a box of durian *yummy*. how can anyone hate durians?

CHILDREN.. they are so cute.
[1] the lil boy who kept smiling at me on bus 51.
[2] the lil girl who kept throwing all the playing blocks on the ground. (not so cute..)
[3] but had 2 even more endearing girls pick up the blocks from the ground after she (continously) throw everything off the table again.
[4] and the lil girl in white dress.
cutie: mummy, are we seeing the doctor?
mum: no.. too many people already. i will still take the medication and continue to apply ok.. we will come down again.
cutie: y they wanna see doctor?
mum: becos they need to see the doctor. lets go..
cutie (starts jumping on the spot and refuse to budge): i want to see doctor!
mum: i need to buy some things. you dun wanna buy things already is it?!
cutie follows mum out immediately. how cute..

girls will be girls. i can see a shopaholic future in her already. heh.

pls move my lazy bum.

its a rare thing to have me blog TWICE in a day nowadays.

i have successfully did [5], ie exercise. yay~ went jogging ard my neighbourhood. set off at 1855 for a supposedly 30 minutes run. but decided midway that 20 minutes will suffice. i m tired. haha. i m just lazy and very undetermined. try harder next time. maybe tmr? haha.. we'll see.

and i tried my hand at [1] - clean up my room. which equates to emptying everything from 2 drawers. now, all the stuff are lying ard 99.99% my bedroom floor. i can hardly move ard. heh. flop. ahh.. i will clean up the mess eventually. when i have the mood that is. or when my sister/parents start shouting.

i need a bigger storage space. a bigger room. my own room. or maybe i just need to be more ruthless and throw out my almost 2 decades collection of "junks".

for now, i shall just lie on my bed and not venture to the floor. if you cant see it, it is not there. heh. or till i have the mood to pack again.

cleaning up, to me, is a very spiritual affair. you can only clean up when you are in the MOOD. agree? the other day, i decided to clean up the living room (despite the sad predicament of my own room). ah.. it is now all spick and spack. not even a spack of dust under the computer desk. its so clean i can lick it. or maybe not.

i realise it is always easier to thrash ppl's things than your own. many things are kept for [memories sake].. like the ceramic figurine of [mother mary, joseph and baby jesus in the manger] thats been with me in some box somewhere in my room since my primary school days. some things are kept for [in case you need it, you have it]. another year passed and you realise you din use it afterall. well.. maybe it can be put to some use next year.. some day.. [keep waiting.]

once in a while, when the right mood comes knocking.. i can go on packing forever. for once, i stop talking. concentrating on what goes where. stopping every now and then to look thru some things otherwise forgotten: letters, bdae/xmas/new yr cards, expired vouchers.

did i mention when i say once in a while.. i meant a really long while. haha.

sometimes i wish i m male.. so untidiness is characteristic.. not flaw.

i love my daddy. haha.

heaven has decided to stop pouring. ytd: no rain. today: only a light and short drizzle. either (logically) condensation is still at its early stages. or heaven has stopped crying for us earthlings. or has cleansed the earth enuf. watever u deem suits ur LOGIC best..

anyway, this' good news. even though i'll possibly be staying indoors nowadays. or maybe i shld go for a jog later.. (my exercise regime din work out after all. heh.)

5 more days till school resumes.. here i come!! i m actually looking forward to school!! many will probably think i m mad. but yes.. i m still looking forward to going back school again.

in the next 5 days, i m going to:
[1] clean up my room.
[2] apply for basic theory.
[3] clean up my hammies' cage.
[4] visit my skin doctor.
[5] exercise.
[6] continue bidding for my modules. (i only have 2 confirmed modules to date.)
[7] collect my punch card from starhub.
[8] let the manager signs my timesheet and claim my PAY!!!!
[9] prepare my 2005 organiser!
[10] develop photos.
[11] meet yiyi and xiang on thursday.

hm.. think i m going to be rather busy, that is if i dun continue to procastinate and sit in front of my laptop all day all night long. in fact, i think i shall go do [2], [3], [5] and [7] today!!

argh... gimme another 5 minutes pls. urps..

regarding [9]..
i m actually pretty disappointed with myself for not getting it ready before i step into this new year. cos QIMIN ALWAYS HAVE AN ORGANISER. doesnt she? yes i do.. if you call this a change, i will say it is a bad one. my 2004 organiser is a big flop incomparison to all my previous. it wasnt updated. i m constantly doing backdated entries despite it being the most costly organiser i ever purchase - its this nice metallic filofax. may 2005 be a better one.. i shall make it a better one.

anyway, i have good news..
my father had agreed to pay for my driving lessons and for the lasik treatment!!
i m delirious!!! more than delirious..
so i better go register my basics. and also had to stop wearing contact lenses for 2 weeks.
see you guys ard in my pretty specs..!!

(i hope he din promise these sponsorships in good spirits. cos i m so EXCITED!!!!)

my msn nick ytd night..

min: leave me alone.

ironically, a nick lidat brings more ppl to tok to you. not that its unwanted attention, these ppl did made me feel better but it made me tok/tink about the things i dun wanna tok/think about it. i must have been an emotional mess ytd. nonetheless, thanks.

for the ?? consecutive days, its raining again. rain is bad news.. cos it limits a great deal of things you can do. i wanna go swimming, wanna go sentosa, wanna go cycling, wanna go jogging. bad rain.

someone commented that "even the sky is crying for those who died in the tsunami".
which i m quick to retort, "its the rainy season!!!"
then again.. wat do i noe? maybe heaven is indeed crying for these ppl. in the face of rising death toll.. another saddening news..

Sri Lanka gets reports of child rapes after tsunami (Straits Times, 2 Jan 05)
Mr De Silva gave few details of the case of the gang-raped 17-year-old girl, which occurred in the area of Galle on the southern coast but not in a refugee centre. Hours after being washed ashore and left orphaned and homeless, she was raped by six men, he said.

guys ought to control their surging libidos. JACKASS!

"THE energy that is unleashed in a 9.0 earthquake, as this one in the Indian Ocean, is roughly the amount that would be generated if it were possible to set off a bomb made from 32 billion tonnes of TNT. Transferred piston-like into the incompressible water above, it made for the giant waves that swept into the coasts of Asia and Africa."

'nuff said.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

i haven been blogging religiously these days. not that i have nothing to blog about but i dunno what i shld blog about. a few comments popped up causing me to question my blogging style. if there is even one to begin with.

one fren commented that i usually blog about day to day stuff. which is boring. (he probably din use the word boring but implied so. then again, his comments shldnt affect me cos i really cldnt care less about him.)
then i couldnt convince collin that blogging is a private yet public affair. i could only insist IT IS while he shrugged it off.
overtime i question the way i write, my choice of words and what i write about. while fellow bloggers will go.. dun care about what others say.. its your blog so u can write watever you want. well.. true. but no doubt we are more or less writing for an audience isnt it? so much for blogging as a private affair.


anyway,

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!
may 2005 be a great year.. else, make it a GREAT one!

went over to geo's hse for a new year gathering with the usual bunch. its nice seeing us together again. its getting increasingly difficult for all of us to meet. thankfully everyone's doing fine. hopefully we get to meet next week for a round of K-box or something.

it occur to me that we are all ageing! ok.. actually only me.. since i will be turning 20 in less than 2 months time. the horrors. i m no longer a teenager soon!!! then i will go 21, 22, 23, 24, 25....... 30! seriously old. my my.. better watch my beauty regime from now on.

suddenly.. i dun wanna grow up. many simple things seems to be more complicated as we grow older. comes commitment.. comes changes.. for once, i loathe commitment, i resist changes. i dun mind living my secondary school life once again. but who doesnt?

my heart is heavy. i need to be mentally enriched. i need a good book.

i think i m PMS-ing. i shall stop here.

.